The truth is that we all have choice in how we feel. Imagine exercising that choice freely.
And no, this isn’t about sitting in the corner crossed-legged while you hum a calming mantra. It’s about making a conscious choice about realising the mood or frame of mind you are in, working out if it’s the most useful one for you, and if not, choosing to change it.
There are many moods and states of mind available to us, not just the most cited two of “positive” and “negative”.
We can be stubborn, grumpy, angry, annoyed, slightly miffed, CBA, focused, strong, resilient, dedicated, motivated, and hundreds more that I’m sure you could name.
The key is not just knowing that the mood / state of mind you are in isn’t right for you. The key is knowing the mood / state of mind you want to move towards, the one that’s best for you, and then getting yourself in it.
The best way to do this is to pay attention to the space, person, or activity that helps you to change your mood to a better, more resourceful one.
Raised awareness is key to change. Rather than just rumbling along in the same mood, or having a unhelpful mood increase in intensity, stop and check in with yourself. Bring your awareness to your current mindset, check it’s the best one, and if not decide which one you want to be instead.
A great technique to start to do this is to have something that you can think about, touch, read, remember, look at, or hum in your head if necessary. This could be anything (genuinely, anything) that you know puts you in a better mood. It could be a person, so if you have the time and it’s practical, go and find them.
In technical terms, this is known as an “anchor.” It’s something that you connect and associate with that is guaranteed to change your mindset to a more positive one. If you aren’t sure what your anchors are, start journaling when you’re in a good mood so you can look back on what happened or what you did to get you there.
Learn the right skills, and you’ll be able to change your mindset in seconds (literally), on the spot, right where you stand.